im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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