You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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