ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
