VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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