i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Randomize
