I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
