just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
