You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize