But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
