What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
