I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
