He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
