thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
