I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
