clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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