so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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