So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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