I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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