YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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