quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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