Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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