I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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