Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
My feet surprised me
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