okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
