im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
