only if we run a train.
done.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
