his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
