She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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