just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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