giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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