I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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