Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
The feeling are messing with the penis
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
