Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
