i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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