If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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