..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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