You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
