I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Don't EVER smell your tampon
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
