We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I touched a dick in church today
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
