Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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