I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
