; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
