Girls should come with a carfax report
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
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