dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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