Say something about gay babies.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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