party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
