life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
