just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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