how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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