We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
God I need to hump something, right now.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
