I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
