If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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