do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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