it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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