I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
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