We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
last night I used snow as a chaser
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
