My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
