That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
