i don't like sucking hair
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
