I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
