The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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