my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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