I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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